


Rush

by Mersheeple



Series: Hearts&Cauldrons Snail Mail (Covid19) [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Afterlife, F/M, Severus Snape Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25442167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mersheeple/pseuds/Mersheeple
Summary: Severus doesn't want this. But he will accept it and move on. And hate it.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Series: Hearts&Cauldrons Snail Mail (Covid19) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809469
Comments: 8
Kudos: 52





	Rush

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NaomiJameston](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaomiJameston/gifts).



> NJ, thank you for the prompt of Rush.
> 
> This is the sixth? eighth? something like that, version of this story...it took way too many rewrites until I was happy...
> 
> Love you lady!

**Why try? I know why  
The feeling inside me says it's time I was gone  
Clear head, new life ahead  
It's time I was king now, not just one more pawn**

Severus smiled to himself, ready to fade away as the music pounded through him. A handful of minutes had passed since the Golden Trio had disappeared off to continue fighting and he had started to hallucinate, knowing it was the end and ready to embrace death. The songs from his earlier life made him smile as he remembered the first time he had danced with Her. With Lily. With the only woman he had ever loved.

**Fly by night, away from here  
Change my life again  
Fly by night, goodbye my dear  
My ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend**

His eyes closed and he waited for the embrace of darkness, the next life to come take him onwards. He hoped that it would be Lily that would come to meet him. His Lily. The most beautiful girl in the world. The one that loved him back.

**Moon rise, thoughtful eyes  
Staring back at me from the window beside  
No fright or hindsight  
Leaving behind that empty feeling inside**

“Severus, my boy, it is good to see you again.” Albus Dumbledore stood in front of him, smiling and twinkling as much as he had in life. No, this wasn’t right. Where was she? Where was Lily? Where was his friend?

“She’s not coming Severus. She has moved on. You are not ready to. It is not your time. You are going back. You will find someone there to help you move on, when you are ready.” No, no, this wasn’t fair. He didn’t want to go back. He wanted to leave, to move on, to leave behind the chains that had bound him.

**Fly by night, away from here  
Change my life again  
Fly by night, goodbye my dear  
My ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend, wow**

He didn’t want to say goodbye. He didn’t want to go back. There was no reason to go back. Either Potter won and he would be punished for everything he had done and put in Azkaban for a million years (no he wasn’t being dramatic). Or Voldemort would win and… well, the snake faced jerk had already tried to kill him once today alone.

**Fly by night, away from here  
Change my life again  
Fly by night, goodbye my dear  
My ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend**

It came as a rush to him again as he was pulled back into consciousness. No, no he didn’t want this. Whoever it was who had returned to his body, he didn’t want their help. No. He tried to speak but his throat was so torn from the snake bite that he just gurgled.

“Sir, stop moving. You are not going to die. Not you. Too many have died already. It’s time for you to live. Just give me a second.” He knew that voice. Hermione ‘I will make your choices for you’ Granger. The bossy little chit was going to save him whether he wanted to be saved or not. So he made a decision then and there. She could save him. But he did not have to stay saved. He just had one question.

“Who won?” He gurgled and bubbled through the hole in his neck and his voice was a shadow of its former self and she glared at him, furious that he seemed determined to stop her healing or at least determined to make her life harder.

“We did. Sir, we won. Harry…Harry beat Voldemort.” He closed his eyes and let her get back to saving his miserable pathetic waste of a life. Azkaban it was then.

**Start a new chapter  
Find what I'm after  
It's changing every day  
The change of a season  
Is enough of a reason  
To want to get away**

The trials had surprised him. His had been the longest, of course. It had been the only trial where he did not agree with the verdict. Lucius had ended up in Azkaban for five years. That was unsurprising, if a much shorter time than expected. Narcissa was under house arrest for the same amount of time, missing out on Azkaban only because she had lied directly to Tom Riddle and was not actually Marked. Draco was on probation. As long as he completed his schooling and then took some form of Apprenticeship, he would have no restrictions on what he could do. After five years Draco would be free to do whatever he wanted. Severus had agreed with all of that.

His trial had…been extensive. And embarrassing. And frankly humiliating. Potter had shared his memories with the Head of the Wizengamot and two other members only. That was a surprise. They had informed the rest of the Wizengamot of some of the content. That was less of a surprise. Albus had spoken on his behalf, from the comfort of his portrait. He had twinkled and sparkled and proclaimed Severus a hero. That had been frustrating. They had dismissed his crime of Albus’s murder completely. That had been astonishing.

And then Miss Granger had stood up and calmly explained a million tiny things (once again, he was not exaggerating) that he had done that had helped. He hadn’t known that she knew about the food they had found. Or the potions he had slipped into her bag. Or the books he had ensured were on her person. Or even that he was keeping an eye on them through Phineas Nigellus Black. She explained further that he had been willing to die for what he had done. That had apparently shown his remorse. No Azkaban. No House Arrest. No punishment. He was free.

**Quiet and pensive  
My thoughts apprehensive  
The hours drift away  
Leaving my homeland  
Playing a lone hand  
My life begins today**

He was awarded the Order of Merlin First Class. Miss Granger had delivered it to him at his home. He had chosen not to return to Hogwarts. For the first time in his life he could do anything he wanted. He chose to travel.

He started with Europe. France. Spain. Italy. Greece. Turkey. Russia. Sweden. Norway. Denmark.

He got bored in Denmark. It was like a poor man’s Sweden. No, that wasn’t fair. But it just wasn’t his cup of tea. So he caught a flight to Egypt and decided that Africa was his next place to see as much of as he could.

**Fly by night, away from here  
Change my life again  
Fly by night, goodbye my dear  
My ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend  
My ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend**

He got bored too easily. With no one to talk to on his travels he found his thoughts wandering back to England. Wondering about Hogwarts. Wondering about Minerva. Wondering about Hermione Granger. Or was she Weasley now? Or, more than likely, Potter?

He found himself wondering if he should write to her. But how would he address the letter? How would he explain that he had spent three years travelling and all he could think of was her? Was it too late to offer her an Apprenticeship? What was she up to now?

**Fly by night, away from here  
Change my life again  
Fly by night, goodbye my dear  
My ship isn’t coming and I just can’t pretend  
My ship isn’t coming and I just can’t pretend  
My ship isn’t coming and I just can’t pretend**

He had made his choice. He hoped it wasn’t too late. He was going to take another step to change his life. He gripped the International Portkey that would take him back to England. He wondered who would meet him when he arrived. He had told Minerva and asked her to send someone to meet him to accompany him back to Hogwarts. He had suggested that if someone was interested in an Apprenticeship, as long as they were unencumbered, and had an O in their Potions NEWT then he might be prepared to offer the Apprenticeship to the right person.

She stood there smiling at him, wearing the robes of an Apprentice, and he couldn’t help smiling back. The pin badges on her lapel showed that she was an Apprentice of Arithmancy and Potions. She must have accepted his offer to be his Apprentice. His smile widened as he approached her.

“Welcome Home Master Snape.”


End file.
